In my corporate career days, a young Accountant in our office proved to everyone for once
and for all that he really wasn't that shy after all. Then there is the
risk of damage claims to buildings and furniture, not to mention people, and some people
have also made sexual harassment claims, too... He would have lost his job had he
been caught.And you know the old clichéd stories about office acquaintances caught snogging in the
broom cupboard? Well, I can tell you they're not "clichéd stories" - I really have
caught people snogging in cupboards, overly merry and totally unconcerned that they were locking lips
with somebody they'd ordinarily have little to do with. And what an eye-opener!I didn't actually
see what happened myself, but I was assured we wouldn't need an ambulance because a
'skipper' (a chosen sober driver) had volunteered to drive him to the nearest hospital for
stitches to the gash on his head. Actually, I haven't personally caught them, but I
have been present when they've been caught.And after over 25 years in the workforce, you
can imagine this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as my Christmas
party memories go. Think a little bit of everything in moderation!So, here are some tips
to keep you out of trouble at this year's Xmas bash:1.Don't plan to meet up
for drinks before you go. Apart from injuring yourself or making a fool of yourself
in other ways, alcohol can also loosen your tongue and you can find yourself telling
your boss and co-workers what you really think of them. Plan to arrive sober.2.Have a
snack and a glass of milk before you go - something to line your stomach
for the first drink that is bound nike shox nz to be plonked into your hand the moment
you arrive.3.Dress appropriately. A glass of water can do wonders!6.If you are feeling "funny" and
suspect you're getting tiddly, stop drinking altogether and make sure you stay away from the
heirarchy who would frown at your "tiddliness". Because for years we all thought he was
shyer than an earth worm and we were always trying to boost his confidence and
set him up with nice ladies! All that changed at the last office Christmas party
I attended before retiring from the workforce. yes, from intoxicated, over amorous fellow workers who
can't remember a thing about it the next day.I suppose I sound like a party
pooper now and you have visions of sitting around on stools with your legs crossed
and your lips pursed, saying "just lemonade, please," and "what delightful weather for this time
of year."Don't get me wrong. Fortunately she didn't take to removing her clothing at this
particular Christmas function, but she did go up to the CEO and some distinguished guests
with a platter of seafood tidbits and pointing to the oysters announced with her mouth
full, "You must try the little pickled fannies... She then burst into loud unladylike guffaws,
food snorting from her nose, and pointed to one of our VIP's shiny black shoes
and squealed, "You've got a pickled fanny on your foot!"Apparently somebody had been pouring vodka
into her cool drink cans all night, so in a way it wasn't really her
fault that she was drunk, and we never did find the culprit. She is always
surrounded by pets of some kind, a husband and a beautiful and talented daughter. Find
out what is expected and err on the side of caution. If there is Nike Requin one
thing to be learned from all this, it's that you cannot afford to let your
guard down just because it is Christmas.We all know that consuming too much alcohol can
make you lose your inhibitions and do things you ordinarily wouldn't do and regret very
much the next day when you're nursing your hangovers. If you think there is a
risk of that, arrange with other friends to call by and pick you up at
a designated time.8.Don't take photos of tiddly or drunken staff workers - not with your
camera, not even with your phone. What you don't want to be doing is providing
the entertainment. It's okay to drink alcohol, just not to get drunk.At office Christmas parties
it IS okay to laugh and be merry, but not so merry you want to
get on a desk and remove your clothes or offer pickled fannies to the CEO.It
is even acceptable to dance - again, just not on desktops and preferably with your
clothes on. Quite apart from the fact that you should conduct yourself and comply with
generally accepted office behaviour even at out of hours company functions anyway, businesses have a
legal obligation to provide safe workplaces for employees. And when it comes to lawsuits, "safe
workplaces" can be anywhere the company hosts an event for their staff. they're yummiful!" And
then giggled herself silly before dropping the tray at our feet. At the time you
are fearless and think you're very clever and possibly hilariously funny, but that type of
behaviour can cost you your job.There really is only one major rule you should remember:
Don't let your hair down at office functions - Christmas or not. (Because now is
really NOT the time to point out your CEO's flaws or ask your boss for
a payrise!)7.Plan to go home at a decent time - don't stay all night. And
apparently somebody was calling the glass people and you wouldn't even notice the plate glass
window had been smashed by the time they'd finished with it.Seems our young friend had
enjoyed a little too much seasonal merriment in the form of a heavily stocked bar
and free drinks for all, and in his attempt to do a striptease on one
of the desks, tripped over the telephone and went sailing through the nearby window, trousers
around his knees, showing parts of his anatomy I bet the girls in accounts never
thought they'd see!And I once worked with a nice young lady who was very prim
and proper, whose idea of swearing consisted of an occasional "damn". And if you do,
don't put them on the internet or send them to all your friends.9.Don't do anything
yourself that you wouldn't want to appear on the internet the next day!10.And finally, if
next day is a work day, plan to turn up!Now go and eat, drink and
be merry, because it is the season to be jolly, but let's hope the only
red-face you'll end up wearing is a case of sunburn because you forgot the suncream!Donna
Eliassen is a Virtual Assistant and writer (an ex corporate PA with 25+ years experience)
who works out of her home office in Western Australia. You don't want to go
dressed like a ten dollar hooker - keep it conservative.4.Arrange a skipper to drive home
or order a taxi - do not drink and drive.5.Eat while you are drinking and
make every second drink a non-alcoholic drink. You can find out more about her at
http://a1VikingVirtualServices.com.
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